To me, Love is an unconditional, and most times unearned weave of warmth that connects two people – man to man, woman to woman, man to woman. It is often generated not as a result of one specific action but as a result of a series of events. Its is also often expressed in ways that only the people in the relationship understand and to others outside the relationship, the expressions could seem like everything but love. Love can be found anywhere but the purity of it is what cannot always be guaranteed. It is easy to point the finger at people who claim to be unable to find love and blame the black hole inside them for their emptiness and inability to find the ultimate feeling. But if we look closely at ourselves, many of us who point the finger have a bigger hole inside us and this is, more often than not, the reason why we are quick to spot the same traits that we felt when the love juice in our lives started drying up.
One of the most asked questions amongst men and women is about when and how you know you are in love. The answer is simple. If you can put your hand on your earth and say of someone else that you have an unconditional, unearned feeling of warmth between you and the person, that is the beginning. You are not in love because you cannot stop thinking about someone, or you get butterflies in your stomach every time you are around someone. The fact that you have admired someone for all your life or spent all your life with a person doesn't mean you are in love either. Love does not happen overnight. It is a process that starts from one point and can take whatever route it is destined to.
Another question that is often asked is whether love at first sight is possible. In my humble opinion, love at first sight is a myth. The myth of love at first sight is created out of the impatience of people who do not want to think of or go through the process of falling in love. These are the people who do not want to endure the toil but want to reap the harvest. Love is an art, not a science and that means that the presence of the right components and the following of the right procedure does not guarantee the expected result.
People also asked whether it is possible to fall out of love. I think it is possible to fall out of love but a justifiable case will be hard to find. For the two parties to be able to say that at one point, after a period of time, they felt an unconditional, unearned feeling of warmth between themselves but due to circumstances beyond their controls, the tide had turned and there was no more warmth between them, it will take the coming together of many factors that are beyond my imagination.
So next time you guys meet a girl, and you girls meet a guy and you get all fuzzy inside and your brains start to paint pictures of what could be, just tell yourself “maybe love is not the way I'm feeling. Maybe all these feelings are just a conjecture of what might be or what I want.”
But maybe I am the least qualified to talk about love. Maybe I'm not. Maybe first timers and veterans are all just skinning the cat in their own different ways. Maybe we all have the same amount of love inside us but the level of our understanding of love is what determines how much love we show/give to people around us.
Sometimes it feels like everyone and no one is in love at the same time. Sometimes I ask myself what love is. Is it an emotion, an expression, a mood, a feeling, an infilling or just something else that words cannot describe. Maybe no one will ever know the fullness of love. Maybe at the end of the day, we will all find out that what we thought was love was just a mirage and the real thing is a million miles away. One thing I know for sure, regardless of all the maybes, is that love is real
Monday, 15 December 2008
Self Control
In the last few months, the issues of violent crime and the “credit crunch” have dominated the headlines of our local and national media. The problem of our young people feeling the need to carry and use dangerous weapons and the economic turmoil that has somewhat succeeded a long period of economic prosperity are the topics of conversation in many gatherings. As a result, people have had to readjust their thought patterns on spending, socialising and many other aspects of their lives.
Whilst many have blamed the media for blowing both situations out of proportion, I have chosen another angle to look at these issues. I am of the opinion that both the credit crunch and the issue of violent crime are offspring of the carefree lifestyles most of us live. Due to the recent successes of past governments, our lives have been made more convenient, leading to many people placing the priority on secondary things in life – such as money, status etc. I know that at this point many readers will think to themselves that they have heard and/or read similar words many times over – and they are true. What I have never heard or read is a suggestion on how to combat the carefree attitude we have developed. My suggestion is self control.
I believe we live in a day and age where self expression in whatever way possible is encouraged, and sometimes unnecessarily so. Whilst I agree that it is very important to express one's self, I think it is even more important to be in control of whatever form you choose to express yourself in. Expression without control is more often than not an outburst as it lack the ability to guide or direct itself in the direction it needs to go. As much as we have to push ourselves through to be seen, we should try, if possible, to gauge the possible outcome(s) of our actions and act accordingly. Instead of cutting our coats according to our size, we should cut according to our cloth. And if we do not have enough cloth to make our coats, we should pursue other options that might not be as expensive.
The ability to say no to one's self and deny one's self of some things that might be beneficial in the short run but not so beneficial in the long run is the sort of discipline needed to weather the storms of the credit crunch and violent crime we are facing today. If we are ready to deny ourselves that certain expense and try to stack that money away in the interest of more beneficial and well thought-out ventures in the future, we stand a better chance of coming through these tough times without digging ourselves further down the hole we are already in.
If we can teach our children and young people that not having those 15 minutes of fame in the “ends” for committing a violent crime as well as making the sacrifice of doing something that might seem boring and lifeless in the interest of having a better and well rounded future, they will have a better chance of going through their childhood as children in a civilised society and not ones in a quasi-war zone. The older generation have to learn self control, especially with things pertaining to money whilst the younger generation need to learn self control in terms of sacrifice, self denial and seeing beyond the pleasures of the present.
Self control is possible and the only thing that will put an hindrance between the concept and the successful execution is how it is approached. I am a firm believer that as long as something is humanly possible and you put your mind to it, you can/will achieve it. Start today by controlling your reaction to reading this piece. Be it negative or positive.
Whilst many have blamed the media for blowing both situations out of proportion, I have chosen another angle to look at these issues. I am of the opinion that both the credit crunch and the issue of violent crime are offspring of the carefree lifestyles most of us live. Due to the recent successes of past governments, our lives have been made more convenient, leading to many people placing the priority on secondary things in life – such as money, status etc. I know that at this point many readers will think to themselves that they have heard and/or read similar words many times over – and they are true. What I have never heard or read is a suggestion on how to combat the carefree attitude we have developed. My suggestion is self control.
I believe we live in a day and age where self expression in whatever way possible is encouraged, and sometimes unnecessarily so. Whilst I agree that it is very important to express one's self, I think it is even more important to be in control of whatever form you choose to express yourself in. Expression without control is more often than not an outburst as it lack the ability to guide or direct itself in the direction it needs to go. As much as we have to push ourselves through to be seen, we should try, if possible, to gauge the possible outcome(s) of our actions and act accordingly. Instead of cutting our coats according to our size, we should cut according to our cloth. And if we do not have enough cloth to make our coats, we should pursue other options that might not be as expensive.
The ability to say no to one's self and deny one's self of some things that might be beneficial in the short run but not so beneficial in the long run is the sort of discipline needed to weather the storms of the credit crunch and violent crime we are facing today. If we are ready to deny ourselves that certain expense and try to stack that money away in the interest of more beneficial and well thought-out ventures in the future, we stand a better chance of coming through these tough times without digging ourselves further down the hole we are already in.
If we can teach our children and young people that not having those 15 minutes of fame in the “ends” for committing a violent crime as well as making the sacrifice of doing something that might seem boring and lifeless in the interest of having a better and well rounded future, they will have a better chance of going through their childhood as children in a civilised society and not ones in a quasi-war zone. The older generation have to learn self control, especially with things pertaining to money whilst the younger generation need to learn self control in terms of sacrifice, self denial and seeing beyond the pleasures of the present.
Self control is possible and the only thing that will put an hindrance between the concept and the successful execution is how it is approached. I am a firm believer that as long as something is humanly possible and you put your mind to it, you can/will achieve it. Start today by controlling your reaction to reading this piece. Be it negative or positive.
Re: Saving Africa's Witch Children
Before I go into what I intend to talk about, I'd like to make it clear that I am as shocked as every other right minded person that watched that program on Channel 4 the other night. There is no justification for such hatred, violence and ignorance. Everyone involved such practises should be locked away for as long as they have breath and have every right taken away from them.
Now, with that out of the way, I'd also like to add that the issue of child witchcraft is not a myth. It is something that is happening and many children are involved in witchcraft on some level. The mistake that has been made is to generalise without any profound knowledge (or any knowledge at all in some cases). Let us not, in the name of standing up for what is right, ignore the blatant truth.
I am aware that It might be difficult for some of my readers who are not African, or do not have a tangible understanding of how things work in Africa, to put two and two together as to how witchcraft exists but take it from someone who has more than a tangible understanding of how things work in Africa that witchcraft exists. There are many people who can testify to the evils of witchcraft and show you undeniable evidence to that effect.
For many, the Harry Potter notion of witchcraft is probably the closest they will come to understanding witchcraft - but do not be confused by J.K. Rowling's works. Do not think witchcraft is all about people in odd clothing waving magic wands and saying weird words, there is more to it than that. Although the Harry Potter notion is a manifestation of witchcraft, it is, in my opinion, the publicly acceptable side of witchcraft that can be shown for public consumption without putting the fear of God in every human being on the planet.
There are also tons of evidence for all who care to look into it about what happens when the true power of Christ and all forms of sorcery and witchcraft meet. But for those who are not aware of how it happens, it is nothing like what happened on the Channel 4 program. Jesus never inflicted torture or instruct that torture be inflicted on anyone. And anyone who calls themselves a Christian and uses that as a reason to oppress and inflict torture on anyone for any reason should be ashamed of themselves. Christianity is all about having a positive influence on your environment that everyone can appreciate, regardless of whether or not the people around understand. There is no place for it in our religion. Not especially in today's world.
In closing, for the Christians out there, please act with reason and sense as against being reactionaries. Do not make your decisions on what you see around you but let your decision making be informed by what the Bible says. Confirm that the information you receive from your churches are Bible based and the minute you note otherwise, flee. For the non Christians, do not judge us according to what the few bad eggs amongst us involve themselves in. Please, if you are going to make any judgements about us, do so on the basis of having an understanding of the individual or the group and the motive behind their actions. Only then will we all get a move on with what we all need to do, which is to make this world as good a place as we can make it and rid it of those people and things we do not need or want
Now, with that out of the way, I'd also like to add that the issue of child witchcraft is not a myth. It is something that is happening and many children are involved in witchcraft on some level. The mistake that has been made is to generalise without any profound knowledge (or any knowledge at all in some cases). Let us not, in the name of standing up for what is right, ignore the blatant truth.
I am aware that It might be difficult for some of my readers who are not African, or do not have a tangible understanding of how things work in Africa, to put two and two together as to how witchcraft exists but take it from someone who has more than a tangible understanding of how things work in Africa that witchcraft exists. There are many people who can testify to the evils of witchcraft and show you undeniable evidence to that effect.
For many, the Harry Potter notion of witchcraft is probably the closest they will come to understanding witchcraft - but do not be confused by J.K. Rowling's works. Do not think witchcraft is all about people in odd clothing waving magic wands and saying weird words, there is more to it than that. Although the Harry Potter notion is a manifestation of witchcraft, it is, in my opinion, the publicly acceptable side of witchcraft that can be shown for public consumption without putting the fear of God in every human being on the planet.
There are also tons of evidence for all who care to look into it about what happens when the true power of Christ and all forms of sorcery and witchcraft meet. But for those who are not aware of how it happens, it is nothing like what happened on the Channel 4 program. Jesus never inflicted torture or instruct that torture be inflicted on anyone. And anyone who calls themselves a Christian and uses that as a reason to oppress and inflict torture on anyone for any reason should be ashamed of themselves. Christianity is all about having a positive influence on your environment that everyone can appreciate, regardless of whether or not the people around understand. There is no place for it in our religion. Not especially in today's world.
In closing, for the Christians out there, please act with reason and sense as against being reactionaries. Do not make your decisions on what you see around you but let your decision making be informed by what the Bible says. Confirm that the information you receive from your churches are Bible based and the minute you note otherwise, flee. For the non Christians, do not judge us according to what the few bad eggs amongst us involve themselves in. Please, if you are going to make any judgements about us, do so on the basis of having an understanding of the individual or the group and the motive behind their actions. Only then will we all get a move on with what we all need to do, which is to make this world as good a place as we can make it and rid it of those people and things we do not need or want
Sunday, 21 January 2007
Face the Facts: Song Lyrics
People always ask why it is that music gets a share of the blame with everything that goes wrong in society. Violence, teenage pregnancy, gun crime, driving offences. Virtually every problem that faces the average young person today is remotely linked to the music he/she listens to.
“If music is the food of love, play on,” so said William Shakespeare, sometime in the 16/17th century. So, if this has been known for a few hundred years, why is it that there has only just been a reaction to the sexual content of some of the songs released today. Is it because the song writers are not in the same legendary bracket as the great William Shakespeare or is it because the society of those days faced less serious problems than we face today. Maybe it’s because the rate of pregnancies in the age range of people who listen to these songs with sexually charged lyrics is increasing by the day and the powers-that-be are looking for a way to look less guilty, thus blaming music.
Music in its truest form is influenced by what the musician or songwriter surrounds himself with and although music influences society as well, I’d much rather prefer to see it as a vicious cycle rather than a one way traffic. Most people would tell you that a man is not made by what goes into him, but by what comes out of him but I beg to differ. I would rather think that if what comes out of a man is a product of what goes into him, then what goes into him is creating the man or monster. The human brain is a complex design that even in our greatest wisdom, we will still fail to understand it fully. Research has shown that if a line is being said backwards, there is a possibility of the hearer reacting to what is being said, even without understanding what is being said to him. This happens because the left side of the human brain works with words and the right side with actions. Apparently, the left side of the brain can decode the words, send it to the right side and action will be taken. Makes you wonder how easy it would be if the words were said the right way round.
Sex is everywhere these days. Manufacturers are so desperate to sell their product that they go for anything everybody can associate with, sex being one of the few. Half naked women are used to cars while half naked men sell women’s perfume. The question this begs is that are we victims of society or victims of our own wrong doings? Are we victims of the ploys of the powers-that-be, who push all these products in our faces, and make them irresistible. Or are we victims of our lack of self control that generates an appetite for anything that glitters? Whichever way you look at it, we are in too deep and it will take another generation to right this wrong. We can only hope the generation after this will make things better and not follow the trend because if research serves me right, the human race has gradually been crawling into its own grave since it was created.
“If music is the food of love, play on,” so said William Shakespeare, sometime in the 16/17th century. So, if this has been known for a few hundred years, why is it that there has only just been a reaction to the sexual content of some of the songs released today. Is it because the song writers are not in the same legendary bracket as the great William Shakespeare or is it because the society of those days faced less serious problems than we face today. Maybe it’s because the rate of pregnancies in the age range of people who listen to these songs with sexually charged lyrics is increasing by the day and the powers-that-be are looking for a way to look less guilty, thus blaming music.
Music in its truest form is influenced by what the musician or songwriter surrounds himself with and although music influences society as well, I’d much rather prefer to see it as a vicious cycle rather than a one way traffic. Most people would tell you that a man is not made by what goes into him, but by what comes out of him but I beg to differ. I would rather think that if what comes out of a man is a product of what goes into him, then what goes into him is creating the man or monster. The human brain is a complex design that even in our greatest wisdom, we will still fail to understand it fully. Research has shown that if a line is being said backwards, there is a possibility of the hearer reacting to what is being said, even without understanding what is being said to him. This happens because the left side of the human brain works with words and the right side with actions. Apparently, the left side of the brain can decode the words, send it to the right side and action will be taken. Makes you wonder how easy it would be if the words were said the right way round.
Sex is everywhere these days. Manufacturers are so desperate to sell their product that they go for anything everybody can associate with, sex being one of the few. Half naked women are used to cars while half naked men sell women’s perfume. The question this begs is that are we victims of society or victims of our own wrong doings? Are we victims of the ploys of the powers-that-be, who push all these products in our faces, and make them irresistible. Or are we victims of our lack of self control that generates an appetite for anything that glitters? Whichever way you look at it, we are in too deep and it will take another generation to right this wrong. We can only hope the generation after this will make things better and not follow the trend because if research serves me right, the human race has gradually been crawling into its own grave since it was created.
Monday, 4 December 2006
Face the facts: Asbos
Is it just me or are too many people dying these days? I want to think it is just my imagination and that people have always died like this but every time I seem to be nearer a conclusion, someone else dies around me. The most disturbing thing about this whole thing is that most of the dead are people younger than me and are all getting stabbed over trivial things like phones, ipods and the likes.
Just the other week, a 14 year old boy was bunking off school when the quad bike he had stolen was run over by a car. I know you might want to think he was killed while doing the wrong thing but that is not an excuse for such a young life to be lost. I was still trying to get over this death when I heard that another kid had been stabbed to death just because he won’t let go of his phone. The thought that came to mind was one of disgust. To imagine a life was lost just for a phone. I can only imagine how hard it will be for the parents on the dead to take that in.
Anytime the issue of knife crime and anti social behaviour is raised, it always seems like the blame is pinned on the rap culture. People in high places keep shying away from the responsibility of tackling the issue and always seem to be trying to put punishment in place that do not stop these crimes. And like that was not bad enough, the stigma that is meant to go with the punishment is worn like a badge of honour i.e. ASBOs
I am almost a hundred percent sure that almost everyone outside “the hip hop world” will be quick to blame the guns, violence and carefree lifestyle that are glorified in hip hop music but my stubbornness will not let me agree with them. I cannot help arguing that a good upbringing will instil the necessary morals in children that will lead a good majority of them to making the right decision even if they are surrounded by all the wrong influences. I once read somewhere that if you raise up your child the way he should go, when he or she grows up, he will not depart from that way. I read that from the greatest book ever put together, the Bible.
Don’t get me wrong and think I am acquitting hip hop of any blame. What I am trying to say is that although it is contributing a great deal to the situation, other factors that are contributing just as much should not be ignored but all necessary steps should be taken to put an end to these unnecessary deaths. Something has to be done.
Just the other week, a 14 year old boy was bunking off school when the quad bike he had stolen was run over by a car. I know you might want to think he was killed while doing the wrong thing but that is not an excuse for such a young life to be lost. I was still trying to get over this death when I heard that another kid had been stabbed to death just because he won’t let go of his phone. The thought that came to mind was one of disgust. To imagine a life was lost just for a phone. I can only imagine how hard it will be for the parents on the dead to take that in.
Anytime the issue of knife crime and anti social behaviour is raised, it always seems like the blame is pinned on the rap culture. People in high places keep shying away from the responsibility of tackling the issue and always seem to be trying to put punishment in place that do not stop these crimes. And like that was not bad enough, the stigma that is meant to go with the punishment is worn like a badge of honour i.e. ASBOs
I am almost a hundred percent sure that almost everyone outside “the hip hop world” will be quick to blame the guns, violence and carefree lifestyle that are glorified in hip hop music but my stubbornness will not let me agree with them. I cannot help arguing that a good upbringing will instil the necessary morals in children that will lead a good majority of them to making the right decision even if they are surrounded by all the wrong influences. I once read somewhere that if you raise up your child the way he should go, when he or she grows up, he will not depart from that way. I read that from the greatest book ever put together, the Bible.
Don’t get me wrong and think I am acquitting hip hop of any blame. What I am trying to say is that although it is contributing a great deal to the situation, other factors that are contributing just as much should not be ignored but all necessary steps should be taken to put an end to these unnecessary deaths. Something has to be done.
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